When Can We Discuss This in A Stadium?
A new football season has begun, and like it or not, activism is now a part of it, from the jumbotron to the helmet to the end zone and beyond. Therefore, I’m taking this opportunity to share a letter I wrote to the National Football League five years ago (in the wake of the Ray Rice domestic violence incident) for the sake of the half our nation’s children whose right to grow up with both parents under one roof is denied them. I turned this into a petition and did not get enough support to cause the league concern. Accordingly, the NFL did nothing. At that time, petitions on behalf of Cecil The Lion, an animal shot in Africa by an American dentist on a hunting trip, garnered millions of signatures. Telling.
Commissioner Goodell,
Thank you for the work you have done in the past year to make it clear the NFL will not tolerate domestic violence. We ask that you now please address another behavior harmful to a family, adultery – also known as infidelity or cheating. While this is not illegal in thirty states - and not enforced where it is illegal, it is harmful nonetheless, and in as much as the NFL claims to demand a high standard from its employees, it is clearly within the scope of your authority to tackle this problem. In fact, a recent revision to your Personal Conduct Policy sought to improve upon that which already stated:
“While criminal activity is clearly outside the scope of permissible conduct, and persons who engage in criminal activity will be subject to discipline, the standard of conduct for persons employed in the NFL is considerably higher. It is not enough simply to avoid being found guilty of a crime. Instead, as an employee of the NFL or a member club, you are held to a higher standard and expected to conduct yourself in a way that is responsible, promotes the values upon which the League is based, and is lawful. Persons who fail to live up to this standard of conduct are guilty of conduct detrimental and subject to discipline, even where the conduct itself does not result in conviction of a crime.”
Commissioner, we are empathetic to the difficulty you would face in delving into the interpersonal relationships of those in the league’s employ. Therefore, we ask that you begin to address adultery by disciplining Arian Foster of the Houston Texans who last year as the married father of two had an affair with a college student that resulted in a newborn and now a divorce. This is not the type of example we want to share with our youth, which is a definite role Arian Foster has stepped into.
Commissioner, the lives of the two children born of Arian Foster’s marriage will be forever harmed and the life of the child born of his affair will be complicated at least. Arian Foster’s behavior either promotes the values upon which the league is based, or it doesn’t. We ask that you make the expectations clear as to what is a higher standard of conduct and if adultery is not part of that higher standard, then please say so by disciplining Arian Foster based on conduct detrimental to the lives of the children born of his marriage, the child born of his affair, his now ex-wife, a student, and his community.
Our suggestion is to suspend Arian Foster for three games (one for each of the three children impacted,) or fine him as well as The Houston Texans, $300,000 ($100,000 for each of the three children impacted,) or preferably do both. It is certainly not our intent to quantify a child’s life with a number of games or with a dollar amount, and we certainly feel both a suspension and a fine should be significantly more than we suggest, especially in that Arian Foster has a five year and forty-three-million-dollar contract. Our hope though is to provide you a path so that you will use this case to send a message to those in the league’s employ that adultery, at the very least where children pay a price for it, is not consistent with the league’s values and will not be tolerated.
Commissioner, the integrity of the NFL is at stake when those who wear its logo cheat, on or off the field. Arian Foster's immoral, irresponsible behavior off the field reflects upon the NFL. If the NFL is to benefit from its place in the fabric of our culture, then it must do what it can, wherever it can and as difficult as it may be, to address and help reduce divorce because family fragmentation hurts half our nation's kids!
Thank you for your consideration.
Friends, I’ve reached out to you in the past several weeks regarding what I believe to be the most important problem we face, the breakdown of the family. When might this get the attention it deserves? When will kids’ lives matter? I have and continue to maintain The Marriage Education Act, legislation I created, can help and I’d greatly appreciate you promoting it.
